Chronicles of a 16 Year Old Wallflower

THE DARNER

I’m a darner
The friend that’s always there for you
Like a sponge I’ll absorb your turmoil and tend to them as though they’re mine
Come to me when your life goes haywire and watch me work my magic
When my friend comes to me,
With a heart that’s torn apart
And tears streaming down her eyes
Wheezing as though she’ll die
And hands holding the fragments of her once again shattered heart
At the mercy of yet another ominous lover
I immediately summon my tool box and set to work
Slowly trying to mend what’s left of her broken heart
Holding it with a much stronger glue and doubling the thread this time
The needle pricks me one time too many
But I don’t seem to notice and when I do, I don’t mind
I’m too busy trying to mend her
I work tirelessly, giving it my all
Only when I’m done do I notice the state of my palms
Thorn, blistered and bathed in crimson
But it doesn’t matter
All that does matter is that she’s okay again

When he calls at 2.00am
I abandon everything and listen to him
Whispering sweet nothings time after time after time
I want to tell him that I’m struggling too
That my life is in literal shambles
Instead, I find myself swallowing back my words
Alongside my choking tears, ignoring the lump in my throat
And focus on fixing him, this boy that’s made of glass
My palms barely healed are being put the test again
I endure the stings from where the glass pierces me
Fragments of glass stick to my hands and are sure to leave their mark
Crimson flowing above broken skin
But even that couldn’t stop me from doing the work I’m all so dedicated to
He was the ailment and I; the drug
I was busy healing him while he only bothered with killing me
Parasitism sat pretty at the core of all that we were

At the end of it all, when they’re all gone
The eerie quiet welcomes me with loving arms
So I stay still, waiting for when next my services are needed
Then and only then will I be remembered
What no one knows is that the darner needs fixing too
So with a thorn, battered and bruised heart and fingers calloused from all the fixing
I continue to do that which I’m best known for
But this time I wonder
Just what will happen if and when this darner vanishes
Will a new darner be summoned in her stead or will you pause and search for her?
The answer I know all too well leaves me tossing for nights on end.