To quit or not to quit?

I quit.

I packed my bag stuffed full of my favorite clothes and decided to leave. Enough was enough. I couldn’t stand it anymore, I just can’t look you in the face and tell another preachy lie.

That’s why I’m quitting chronicles of a wallflower.

When I started this blog I wanted to build a home. A shelter. A safe space for me and for you. But these days it seems like a church, like I stand at the podium and dish out directives and although they’re authentic and true they’re just not what I want and I can’t lie any more than I already have so I’m calling it quits.

I feel like I’ve let you down so I’m leaving. I don’t want to exist in your head as just another voice, telling you what to do and where to go. I don’t want to lie to you and pretend to have all the answers. I don’t want to make it seem as though forgiveness is a walk in the park. I don’t want you to feel bad because you struggle to be patient with yourself through the healing phase.

I want you to find peace within these words, I want you to build you a home with these letters and I want more than anything to see you rise and soar thorough life with a lesson or two from these posts.

First a home and then a lesson, that’s what I want.

I want us to be able to air our dirty linen here while we laugh over them and wash them together. I want to acknowledge the bad days and celebrate the good ones.

On the days when you can’t stand any “be you, do you” speech I want you to waltz in here and find peace. When life gets too much, I want these words to give you the courage to stand still while everything else is moving.

I want to remind you of the beauty you are and of the magic that courses through your veins when you feel anything but magical. I want this for you and for me.

I want to waltz in here and tell you how I’m sick of life, knowing that you would listen. Expecting that you won’t judge me. I want to tell you about my wins in hopes that you would cheer for me. I want to tell you of the intentional steps I’m taking to be better at life so you can take with me, and we won’t be lonely through it all.

All these and more are the things I want for us. They are the reasons I’m unpacking my bags and staying put. I’ve decided to call it quits on false pretense and directional blog posts, I’m letting go of preachy content and embracing *inserts a word that makes you go: Yes queen* (I can’t think too much please)

I’m staying for myself and for my people (whoever they are). I’m writing these words and building a home so you can find accommodation when Uncle Mark chases you away from his streets. So you can feel less alone and you have a place to celebrate your milestones.

But unless you take up residence and fill up the hallways, this home will simply remain a house, the chimneys will clog with webs and the windows will stink of dust. Needless to say, you’re an important part of this project and it can’t thrive without you so dear friend, will you build a home with me?

Your friend, Tovia🤍